My ideal man and his 55 things (1-20)
It was on the 8th November 2011 in Kuala Lumpur when during the dinner with my friends, Michael from Go, See, Write and David from Malaysia Asia, that we came across to the traditional topic … relationships on the road. As usual, guys were wondering why I’m single. I mean, for them it is easy to understand how difficult is to have a relationship when permanently traveling. But still.
”Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” is one of the most common questions I get almost every day.
For those that do not understand it at all. Let’s start from the beginning.
First, my lifestyle is anything but easy.
I just keep moving from one place to another, meeting new people, using couchsurfing on the way, talking to strangers and taking photographs with guys.
What kind of guy would not mind all of this?
Yes, I kind of get along better with men than with women, probably because of the jealousy between us, girls. And as well because it is guys contacting me all the time. And of course, it is easier to deal with the guys when I smile at them, but most of the time, not even the nicest smile ever would help me to get anything from a woman. That is for sure and it does not need any more explanations. It is much easier to talk to men.
Second, here comes an important thing … job.
I basically cannot ask anyone to just quit his job and go traveling with me around the world waiting IF I will ever be able to choose a place and settle down there.
It would be too selfish from me to expect this from someone. There are unfortunately very few people who could and would have patience for this.
Both things explain why this post is travel related. Not directly, but when it comes to my traveling, it is.
And then, third, I remember back in 2006 after a not very nice break-up, I had to get over the guy, so I wrote a list of pros and cons of the guy.
That list soon became even more important – what my ideal man should have and how he should be, in general.
”Do I need a list like this?” you are probably asking.
Well, it saves me a lot of time, to be honest. But right now I have to agree with you that when it comes to love, there are no rules and the cliche that love is blind is still 100% true.
So the question is, why do I still have the list of the things of my ideal man? Easy! During the last 5 years, the list has become longer and longer each time I met a guy that could possibly be the love of my life. Obviously, none of them was.
And how we say that you change a bit each time you fall in love, my list has changed as well a bit each time I met a new guy.
I just kept realizing so many things when meeting guys on the road that nowadays, the list consists of 55 points. I hope it will not get even bigger with time as already now is pretty much almost impossible to find the ideal man for me :D
a man without a face … who will it be?
Please do not think that as soon as I meet a guy, I take my list and check out how many points he has. It doesn’t work this way.
Only after a certain time, when it looks like I could be in a relationship with a guy, it’s when I grab the list and simply go through all the 55 points.
The bad thing is that a guy has to have at least 30 points out of 55 to get a chance to be with me.
Sounds very harsh, as if I was treating the guys as just piece of animals or something, but it is so much simpler for me then to decide if to dedicate some time to this guy, or just leave him go with the so hated WE SHOULD STAY FRIENDS.
The funny thing is that in the beginning of 2009 my wallet was stolen together with my list as I carried it there all the time. But, after a month I got the wallet back sent to my hometown address, without the money, but still with the 55-point list in there. I take it as a sign since then :D And the list keeps being one of the most important things in my wallet since then.
I bet that many of you now are just thinking … ok, many of us have a list like that … but with 5 to 10 things probably … and you can even forget about some of the points easily when you meet someone. Yes, that is love and we all love it. But 55 points? Where did I get so many???
I remember speaking about my list with the first guy ever, who was my best friend at that time and his first reaction was just a never-ending laugh saying I was too demanding (which is true, I admit, I am.)
Then, a couple of days after, I showed him the list and we was silent was 10 minutes, then he looked at me with that weird shocked face ”Yes, you are right. I expected it to be much worse :D”
So, here I come with my big secret list of 55 things of my ideal man, or why I am still single. Some of the points are very logical and common, while others are a bit weird. The most important thing for me is the point one.
All the other points come with numbers only to show you that it is really a list of 55 things, but they are not in order of importance.
1. intelligent – this is probably one of the most important thing for me. I really cannot stand stupid people, for me this is mission impossible. So please, if your IQ is that of a rocking horse, how we say in Slovakia, do not waste your, nor my time contacting me :D
2. traveler – if you do not see the reason of traveling, simply get out of my way! Traveling is one of the main reasons of my life. Easy to get this point. I need someone who can travel a lot with me. And who can work in the meantime.
3. charming – that is very important. The guy can be the sexiest in the world and with the best body ever, but if he is not charming it would just never work out with me.
4. speak more languages – I love Spanish the most, especially the accent from Argentina :)
5. with good character – no assholes, please! Just nice guys (even though we all know it, bad guys are more fun!)
6. vegan – I’ve been vegan since July 2013 (mostly raw vegan) and strongly against eating and using animal products so I’d really prefer a vegan partner who understands my point of view. It’s all about the values for me.
7. with sexy eyes – the eyes are one of the first things I check out about guys. I do not care about the color, but there has to be this spark in his eyes and when he looks at me, I have to feel it inside of all my bones, even if I’m not looking at him.
8. smile – if a guy doesn’t have a lovely smile/laugh or even worse, to see a smile on his face is less probable than to go on holidays to Mars … then sorry, next!
9. forearms – yes, forearms, what can I love about them? Some veins probably. Forearms are one of the first things I look at when meeting a guy. Weird, I do not understand it myself either, but just always had this thing for the forearms. Please, short sleeves for the date:D
10. sexy with cool body – not too skinny, not too big, not too fat … just normal with a bit of muscles, so at the first sight we all know he does take care of himself at least a bit. This point is very discussable. I don’t really have a type of man, I do prefer dark hair and darker skin/tan guys, though. And ripped.
too muscular for me …
11. tall – as I am pretty tall for a girl (180 cm) and I hate to wear heels, the guy should be at least as tall as me, or ideally a few cm taller. If you can get only somewhere up to my tits and have a neck pain looking up to me, honestly, what do you expect from me? Swim to another port, please!
12. hair – I do like it when guys have hair I can play with it… but the hair I’m talking about is the hair on the head. Hairy stuff everywhere else is a no go for me. I love eating, but prefer to take out the food rests of between my teeth, no other things.
13. honest – this point should be automatic. All the liars, please get the hell away from me!
14. sweet – not the gay sweetness I mean, but not too rude. A bit of both.
15. faithful – I just do not give the second chance if you don’t believe in monogamy. Appreciate what you have or you’d lose it within a second.
16. sense of humor – I love to laugh, we have to laugh all the time together. I’m not going to look at your stone face when not getting my jokes.
17. good in bed – no need to explain this one, I guess :)
18. willing and helpful – do some things by himself sometimes, I don’t like to beg people over and over again to help me with anything. Even when it is just a stupid glass of water. Just sometimes you could use your head, too.
19. gentleman – banging the door directly into my face will just not work. You don’t need to be an extreme Mexican-style gentleman and close the door behind me, but at least open it for me… Sometimes.
20. apologize – he needs to say sorry when he has done something wrong. Otherwise, where is the dislike button?!
not bad at all :)
The things 21 – 55 of my ideal man came in the following post. Get all ready for them, are more weird than these first 20 normal points :)
And I am ready for all your both wise and silly comments right now, go ahead :D
Vishal
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If you’re reasonable enough, you’ll reach 41 too. :)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Akshaye:@ Akshaye:
Haha I think cricket is boring :P My man cannot be boring!
Akshaye
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Point no 19….you should find some cricketer….its gentleman`s game….:-) lol
Loved the list!!
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Vishal:
Haha that’s when you count, but don’t let me count them :P
Vishal
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I think I got 41 points. See you in Nepal! :)
Roy Marvelous
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Ah damn, I can only speak one language. Oh well… ;)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Roy Marvelous:
It’s never too late to start to learn one :P
Christine | Grrrl Traveler
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I think your list is extremely possible to get. Whether these qualities come in spurts and uneven flows is where the tricky part lies. =) In the end, I try to narrow it down to my top 5 things I can’t live without.
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Christine | Grrrl Traveler:
Extremely possible? Wow, you are the first person to think so, Christine :D I wish it was true :D And what are your 5 thing you can’t live without? For me it would be love, family, friends, music and traveling :)
David @ Malaysia Asia
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haha Great post Alex! I still remember how we were discussing about Guys writing about their relationships on blogs lol. Too funny! Right Michael?
Anyway, stay safe and continue to enjoy seeing the world the way you like it.
Ian [EagerExistence]
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Hehehe. Did I tell you I’m living in Spain learning Spanish?
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ David @ Malaysia Asia:
Yes, David, I do remember very well that conversation. Why don’t you or Michale write a similar post? Don’t be shy haha
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Ian [EagerExistence]:
Really Ian? So you got 1 point now, no, sorry 2 haha
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ chyng:
Of course, they all are writing down the points now and they all think they have them almost all :D
Right, guys have to travel, I cannot stand all the rest of them if they don’t understand the traveling thing :)
chyng
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nice list, i prefer guys who love to travel too!
dont look now but the guys around you are taking note of what you posted here. =)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Matt Gibson:
Haha, good! But no one has ever complained about my sense of humour, so I don’t think it would be my problem than :D
Matt Gibson
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Nice! I’m glad that you started this. I can’t wait to see the next one.
However, there is a problem with #16.
If a guy is not laughing at your jokes, the problem might not be that he doesn’t have a sense of humor, but that you don’t have on :-P
Michael Hodson
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16.
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Yes, faithful thing is extremely important … unfortunately not very common any more these days :D
Osvaldo
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Creo que la #15 vendría siendo la piedra angular de toda la lista.
I think #15 would be the cornerstone of the whole list.